virus hoaxes

Gribbie · virus hoaxes

A computer virus hoax is a false email message warning the recipient of a virus that is going around. The message usually serves as a chain e-mail that tells the recipient to forward it to everyone they know

Clues
Most hoaxes are easily identified by the fact that they say the virus will do impossible things, like blow up the recipient's computer. They often claim to be from reputable organizations such as Microsoft and IBM, but include emotive language and encouragement to forward the message which would not come from an official source.

Risks
Virus hoaxes are usually harmless, and do nothing more than annoy people who know it's a hoax or waste the time of people who forward the message. However, a number of hoaxes have warned users that vital system files are viruses, and encourages the user to delete the file, possibly damaging the system. An example of this is the jdbgmgr.exe hoax.

Some consider virus hoaxes, and other chain e-mails to be a computer worm in and of themselves. They self replicate by exploiting users' ignorance or emotional responses.

What to do
The consensus of anti-virus specialists is that recipients should delete virus hoaxes instead of forwarding them. For example, McAfee says: "We are advising users who receive the email to delete it and DO NOT pass it on as this is how an email HOAX propagates."

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virus_hoax

If you're not sure whether the email you've just recieved is a hoax or not you can check here:

http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org/HBHoaxCategories.html

Or here:

http://www.sophos.com/security/hoaxes/

The cost and risk associated with hoaxes may not seem to be that high, and isn't when you consider the cost of handling one hoax on one machine. However, if you consider everyone that receives a hoax, that small cost gets multiplied into some pretty significant costs. For example, if everyone on the Internet were to receive one hoax message and spend one minute reading and discarding it, the cost would be something like:

50,000,000 people * 1/60 hour * $50/hour = $41.7 million

- http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org/HBHoaxInfo.html#risk

So help save the planet and just delete them!

Finally some virus hoax jokes:

"Virus" #1 - Badtimes
It is IMPORTANT you read this very carefully!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.

It will program your phone auto dial to call only your mother-in-law's number.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. (For Gosh sake, man! Are you listening?!?!)

It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95/98/2000 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

**WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN.**

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you'll fart the next time you're making love.

send send send send send................

"Virus" #2 - Amish Virus (Special from Pennsylvania Dutch Country)
Hello There You English - You have just received the "Amish Virus" As we don't have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.

Thanks for your cooperation,
Amish Computer Engineering Dept.

"Virus" #3: The C-Nile Virus
Just learned about this from a reliable source. It seems that there is a computer virus out there called the "C-Nile Virus" that even the most advanced programs from Norton cannot take care of, so be warned. It appears to affect those of us who were born before 1950. Symptoms of the C-Nile Virus:
1. Causes you to send the same E-mail twice.
2. Causes you to send blank E-mail.
3. Causes you to send E-mail to the wrong person.
4. Causes you to send E-mail back to the person who sent it to you.
5. Causes you to send E-mail to other listed persons who received the E-mail from the person who sent it to you.
6. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
7. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the

"Virus" #4 - WINDOWS NOT A VIRUS
Cupertino, Cal. (SatireWire.com) — Symantec issued an apology to Microsoft yesterday after the security software maker's AntiVirus Research Center issued an alert for a "widespread and lethal virus known to cause system crashes and data loss" that turned out to be the Windows 95/98 operating systems. Symantec CEO John Thompson called it a "regrettable but understandable" mistake.