Green Wellies and Baler Twine

Wellard Bard · Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:56 pm Post subject: On the unmade bed

Shell? You around yet darlin' or wot? Last time i was here, no sign of you, and then a little dickey-bird only tells me you were off at some concert or other.... Cohen was it? Leonard Cohen? Some old fart anyway. It's disgustin' Shell, it really is. He's old enough to be yer grandad or something.... great grandad most probably. Way he put it about he probably is, knowin' your mother.... know what I mean darlin'? Anyway, I was devastated when i found out, totally devastated, pushed aside for some old git who needs a microphone more for support than illumination. Like a zimmer frame or something. Once again, I answer in the only way I know how - I let my art speak for me.

On the unmade bed *
The last time I was around these parts
To practice the gift of speaking through my arts
I heard you'd gone to see one of whom you spoke
I thought it was just another of your Game Old Blokes
But turns out it was some guy called Cohen
Who'd washed up on the Emerald isle just another blow-in
But to be perfectly honest darlin' I find it all a bit disgustin'
Cos last time he only took Manhatten - the next he took Dublin.

I know we've had our troubles Shell, I know it ain't been easy
Especially when Snorg and Calli caught us out and it all got a little bit sleazy
And when we heard that engine revvin' our anxious eyes did meet
As they approached your door while their limosine waits in the street
And you saw that look in Calli's eye and voted with your feet
Deciding that your dance would move to a different beat
But to be honest Shell the way you left, with me it still rankles
Running off like you did with your knickers round your ankles
Cos I am left with the thought that no matter how hard I might try
The fact is - Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

But you got away didn't you babe, or at least you thought you did
til you got the heel of your white stilletto stuck down a grid
With Calli in hot pursuit with intentions of dire retribution
Uttered in dulcet tones of impeccable elocution
And as she first took hold of you and pulled out your hair extension
I must admit i viewed events with no small satisfaction
As i remember you telling me again that you preferred handsome men
But for me you would make an exception.
But it all got a bit much when she tied you up in your kitchen
Then she went off to the smallest room with no small bad intention
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
I told you when I came i was a stranger.

I know it ain't easy Shell, having a street poet as a lover
Who's looking for the card so high and wild he never needs deal another
But I was born like this, I had no choice
I was born with the gift of a golden voice.

So come with me my little one, we will find that farm
and grow us grass and apples there and keep all the animals warm.
And if by chance I wake at night and I ask you who I am,
Don't you forget it darlin' - I'm Bard - Wellard Bard - poet of the streets is your man! Evil or Very Mad

* If you don't know Leonard Cohen, you probably won't understand a word of this, but if you do - then many, many apologies!! Laughing

_________________
History don't repeat but it sure does rhyme.

Shell · Dung Shoveller Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 63 Status:

Shellshocked Shocked

Awww, Wellard I am shocked, you've gone and got me all mixed up with some other woman? I have been away on a bonding course organised through the Crystal Nail Accessory franchiseers committee. It were great - some of them bonding glues you get now - you gotta be pretty careful they really stick to you. Which is more than can be said of you! It were Calli what ran off to see the old bloke so all that wordy stuff were way above mi head .....and before my time too.

You are gonna have to try harder than that to get me back stage again. And next time - if there is a next time - you could at least make the bed first. Rolling Eyes

Anyway me eleven o clock's just walked in and this looks a tough job....
_________________
my history remains

Calli · Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:28 pm Post subject:

Wellard ....A word....

Office now!
_________________
I can't direct the wind - but I can adjust the sails

Virtual Tourist

Bazzer · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:06 am Post subject:

I love it when you goes all bossy .
What a turn on!!!!!!!!!!!!
_________________
Why do "New Age Travellers" have old caravans and "Old Age Travellers" have new ones?

Welcome Home Op. Herrick 8.
Thoughts to those who will not have anyone to meet

http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/

Wellard Bard · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:36 am Post subject:

Calli · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:21 pm Post subject:

It has been mutually decided that since this is a country forum and WB is a self proclaimed poet of the streets then he needs to find a forum based around urban pursuits.
Not wanting to delve deeper into the murkier depths of urban pursuits, Wellard will be seeking suggestions as to which forums might suit his metier.........

(No American cult forums - he has been there, and banned for a work entitled "The xxxxxx xxxxxx")

_________________
I can't direct the wind - but I can adjust the sails

Virtual Tourist

Wellard Bard · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:43 pm Post subject:

Bazzer · Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:59 am Post subject:

Don't care where the "Puke Inducing Pillock" goes as long as it does.

Try the Islamic Terrorist Poetry Forum.
They save a fortune on explosives by Spamming with crap poetry like 'alf 'ard Bard produces, thus making the Infidels commit suicide.
_________________
Why do "New Age Travellers" have old caravans and "Old Age Travellers" have new ones?

Welcome Home Op. Herrick 8.
Thoughts to those who will not have anyone to meet

http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/

monkeybum · Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:23 am Post subject:

Aawwww who's a Mr Grumpy pants this morning???? Did your grumpy wumpy face turn your milk lumpy wumpy this morning? Or did your ghost of Xmas ferret go up the wrong trouser leg. Laughing

Quixote · Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:02 pm Post subject:

That's it MB............you get 'im to burp it up Laughing

_________________
A man should be moderately wise, never too wise. He who does not know his fate in advance is freest of care